Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Let's Play A Love Game

Skins Fanfic, based around Naomi/Emily/Cook love triangle (for those of you who watch the show, you know what I'm talking about...if you don't, sorry, but you should haha). Not completed, just the first 3 paragraphs to get some feedback before I continue. :)

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Her pale blue eyes lined with dark kohl eyeliner narrowed and watched the three boys on the other side of the classroom, knowing they were talking about her. Most probably about her and Emily. Thats all they talk about ever since Emily decided to come clean in front of everyone about the day they kissed and that it was her who had kissed Naomi and not vice versa as everyone had been brought to believe. Naomi had become accustomed to being called a lesbian, a term so lovingly coined for her by Emily's twin sister Katie when she caught the wrong end of the 'incident' at a rave six months before. She had taken it in her stride as she was comfortable in her sexuality. She knew she was straight. She knew she liked boys. But knew in the past and knowing in the present are two different things. Now she didn't know what she liked. Or she did know, but didn't want to admit it.
Emily had the dream again. It's the same dream she's been having for near six months now. Not so much a dream as a memory, played over and over in vivid colour and surround sound. And now, as her headphones are turned up to the max level, worrying because Katie didn't wake her up and she's now late for her first class, she fades away into a daydream. The strobe lights are blinding, the smoke is rising from the crowd, the music is loud and there's enough bass to shake your clothes off your body. She knows all her friends are high on MDMA, high potency Ecstacy that they always take for these things. She had been given a tablet too, but had given it away to a passerby and faked she had taken it. Drugs are more Katie's thing, not Emily's. Anyway, the crowd melts away and all she can see is Naomi, eyes closed, arms swaying in time with the music. She doesn't think, she just moves. Walks right up next to Naomi, begins to move as she moves.
"How high are you right now!?" Naomi screams over the 'boom boom boom' of the speakers.
Emily just smiles and gives a thumbs up. Naomi smiles back and shuts her eyes again. Then, as if she can feel Emily's eyes watching her, she opens hers again. She stops moving. They are standing nearly nose to nose.
"What?" Naomi mouths with a concerned look on her face. Emily leans in and kisses her. And this is the part of the memory that Emily never forgets. Naomi kisses her back.
"SHE KISSED ME BACK!" Emily screams into the empty courtyard.

"You know what Naomi is backwards..." J.J randomly pipes up in the middle of the lecture, when he sees the dark, azure eyes watching them.
"What?" Cook asks, also catching the girl's stare and holding it with his own.
"I moan." He finishes the joke completely deadpan and goes back to reading his chapter about Shakespeare. Cook bursts out in hysterical laughter, never once letting his eyes leave Naomi's. He wants her to know he's talking about her. Ever since he first met her at orientation, he's only had one thing on his mind. And being Cook, he plans on getting what he wants ASAP. He's not used to chasing for what he wants, but if it means he gets Naomi, the chase is worth it. He watched her peroxide blonde fringe fall over her eyes, breaking the staredown between the two. She brushed it away, and looked back down at her textbook. He kept watching, waiting for the glance up. All girls did it. He counted to three quietly under his breath and watched as the eyes looked back up and locked once again with his own. She held it for a split second, realised what she was doing and promptly looked away.
"You're mine." He chuckled to himself, grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

5 comments:

  1. Ooo definitely something i'd like to continue reading! Teen dramas, i love it! I reckon you should give a descripttion of the characters to spice up the story a bit and keep the audience intersted, i.e hot chick = guys dribbling on the keyboard, hot boy = total infatuation. But i think your fan fics coming along great. Check mine out please it's actually on my blog : "Stevee", not this one that everyone can see. Shot Lana!

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  2. Thanks, i was thinking I might need to describe people a bit more. I described Naomi to begin with and then i got sidetracked in actually writing the story and not the details lol. Thanks for the feedback! I'm going to read your draft right now, i swear :)

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  3. Nice work Lana. Did you redraft your fanfic (taking into account the comments above) as a separate post or did you edit this post?

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  4. so i take it your both girls? well excluding Darryl of course. haha but yea this story had me interested. this fanfic has a very wild personality and looks like it could go anywhere, and thats why i like it i cant see any real problems as far as the fanfic goes

    except for this part - "I moan." i didnt quite Get that part. apart from that its really good

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  5. Lana, I think you are a little bit daring. Please, do not mind. Daring in a way that you know how to balance your writing. Some of the topics which are included in your fan fiction, you can keep or remove them as you wish. I am impressed how you select this type of fan fiction which has some teen issues. This type of writing needs a lot of skills. You are a brave person. I am eager to read your fan fiction more.

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