STEVEE: FINAL PART!

As the weeks edged on I started to feel worse than before, the ration of 300 grams of bread just wasn't cuting it anymore, if i got up too fast my head would start to spin, the bosom area of my t-shirt felt tighter and I couldn't remember the last time I had my period. I knew what was happening but I didn't want to know. At the peak of war and death I was pregnant. Why now? Dimitri was actually starting to back off after his useless attempts to bed me. And Dasha, oh Dasha. Anyone would think the war had never landed on her front door step, so blinded by love she couldn't even see through it all.

***

Four months passed and I was starting to show but I still hadn't told anyone yet, especially not Alexander. So life went on as it did every other day, lies, more lies and some more lies. I woke up at 7.30 to go and get our daily ration of bread and sugar. Struggling to put on extra clothes to protect me from the raging blizzard outside I hurried along to complete my daily chores. I walked so slow that it took me an hour to actually get to the shop, a walk that usually only took me fifteen minutes. On the way back home I could see the Germans firing more bombs over head trying to take out the only hospital we had left. Was starvation starting to blur my vision? Or was a bomb really heading in my direction? Too afraid to stop and contemplate my theories I ran as fast as i possibly could, I could hear the bombs whistle approaching so I instantly dived into the nearest doorway. Minutes passed. Was I dead? No, death couldn't be this painful. Slowly heaving myself off the ground I made my way back home walking even slower than I did before, my clothes were burnt and my face was covered in ash and dirt. Opening the front door, my mouth hit the ground. Alexander was looking at me in complete horror, Dasha wasn't really phased with why I was suddenly covered in dirt. So i tried to keep my face calm and walked straight into the room starting to rip the clothes off me, I was just pulling my under shirt over my head until i heard a loud shriek. I quickly tore my jursey off and who do I see gaping, not at me, but at the secret I had kept for four months. Dasha couldn't comprehend what was happening and not wanting to raise my eyes to Alexander I could still see his face. I saw hurt and anguish in his eyes.
"Tatia...," was all he could say.
"Oh Alexander, i didn't know what to do," I blurted out completely forgetting Dasha was still in the room. He ran to me and fell to his knees in front of my peeking belly. We were speechless for what seemed like hours, and I could feel his tears sliding down my tummy until my own made their way down to join his.
"How could you not tell me Tatia?" he murmured under his cries.
"I knew if I did everything we worked so hard for would be over, like it is now." Hearing my own words, I looked up for Dasha but she wasn't there.
"Who the fuck cares about anything else Tatia, we can't care about anything else now."
"Darling please stand up, we've got alot of explaining to do," I cried not wanting our moment to pass.
But before we could say anything Dasha came into the room with Alexanders gun crying hysterically. Her whole body was shaking and we knew she finally understood everything, the veil was now removed from her eyes.
"Dasha honey im so sorry, please what are you doing?" I cried.
"You selfish bitch, Tatia! You take the one thing from me that I love! Alexander you bastard I thought you cared about me, at first I thought I was just a good time girl but then you started to come around and open up a bit more, if only I knew it was all for my younger sister! She doesn't have curves or breasts she's not even a woman!" I couldn't believe she was saying all this but she was right I deserved it.
"Dasha we tried to stay away from each other, but we just couldn't. Please you have to understand." I tried to reason with her but I wasn't getting through.
"Don't even start with me Tatia, don't even fucken speak to me you whore of a sister." she screamed shaking even more.
"Dasha put the gun down now, before your hurt somebody," Alexander said as though he were commanding a soldier.
"I don't give a fuck who I hurt Alexander, so tell me how long have you loved my sister?" Dasha cried flinching at her own words.
"Dasha calm down, you don't want to have this conversation." he spoke calmly. We all stood looking at each other for a few minutes, processing everything that had just happened.
"Dasha we never meant for this to happen," I screamed begging for forgiveness. But she wouldn't listen and then she pointed the gun right at me.
"This can't be fixed Tatia, you took the one thing that mattered to me most and now I have nothing to live for. Nothing." Dasha moaned with empty eyes.
Alexander flew straight at her but it was too late. The room echoed with the protruding sound of the gunshot, I waited for death to hit me, for my life to flash right before my eyes but it never did. Instead Dasha tumbled towards the ground, blood trickling from her mouth and gushing out of her back. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't do anything. What had I done? I slid down to her motionless body and closed her once were wandering eyes. My sister had left this world without peace all because of me. She gave me and Alexander a chance to live our lives but knowing full well she couldn't be there to watch it all.
"If you can hear me honey Dasha, I love you. Please forgive me."