It was June 22nd, 1941 and war had just been declared between Russia and Germany, Leningrad in particular. But why did I feel as though it was just another balmy afternoon, a cool zephyr running through my hair and lightly tickling the beads of water that seeped through my skin. Papa appointed the job of buying groceries to me, of all people. He was definitely feeling a little aloof.
I walked along Nevsky Prospekt and saw that all the shops had either a 'closed' sign or had lines that backed all the way to the end of the street. Hmmm what was it that hung in the air today, was it . . . Hope? Life? Love? Or was it just war? Drowning, i was quickly pulled from my ocean of thoughts.
Women were quarreling over sausage, caviar, canned food and all sorts. Personally I had no idea why everybody was in such a frenzy, as if the food was going to run out. But I knew Papa would be disappointed if i came home empty handed so I went and stood with the cluster of crazy women who were arguing about whether to get vodka or salami until one very alarming lady turned around and barked, "Ladies this is war! Buy your caviar, it will last you but a week. Whilst my canned ham will last as long as i do." Why did my stomach churn when i heard those words?
Delerium was starting to eat at me, I couldn't handle this kind of hysteria so i decided to take a stroll down one of my favourite streets which i knew would be deserted at a time like this. I saw one of the ice-cream stands were open, crem brulee mmm i couldn't wait for the dreamy liquid to relieve me of my parched throat. I hitched a spot at the bus stop, i decided i would catch the bus 136 in hope of finding some food somewhere else.
It was such a beautiful day, how can there be any chaos or worry at all, faintly humming "We'll meet again in Lvov, my love and I...", i bounced my leg to the tune, it was the latest hit in Russia. Damn my hair was getting caught in my ice-cream, i definitely didn't want to ruin my Polish dress my father bought for me, the only thing i had to call my own.
Quickly licking the cone before the ice-cream could hit my dress I could see someone standing across the road looking at me or the scenery, i hoped it was the scenery. Pause. It was a soldier and i had seen many before but why was this one staring at me as if he'd known me his whole life, as if he were silently saying to me Where have you been Tatiana?
He walked towards me, more like floated, his walk was not like any other Russian man, each stride was sealed with confidence. My eyes were pleading for more, up, up, up, olive skin peeked out under his Class A's collar, a set jaw, stunning white teeth, up, those eyes, those chocolate eyes, were they really locked on me? "Hello there." A confident voice, although i didn't recognise his accent. I could feel my face burning, argh i hated that about me.
"Hi."
How many minutes had passed?
"My name is Alexander, are you planning on telling me yours?"
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
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Some feedback from others for this draft is in 'My Blogs' under 'Stevee' - 'Stop thinking and just write...'
ReplyDeletewow, thats really good the description of the setting is very well done. like the subtle bit of humor with the can ham. I can also definetly see where the story can end up going with a russian girl falling in love with a german soldier in the middle of WW2. It has kind of a Romeo & Juliet feel going. Its also pretty cool how it's in first person narrative so it's author is talking to themselves. Has a couple of random sentences that might need more explaining like the "we'll meet again in lvov, my love and I..." I don't really get that reference, but haven't read the book. Other than that it was really cool. Is this the finished deal or the draft?
ReplyDeleteis this really your first fanfic? its really good. as 46mt boy said earlier the first person narrative and the way the story is written really puts you in the authors shoes. even though I'm not a girl. i could be wrong here but maybe the grammatical puntuation could use a bit of work. also this part
ReplyDelete- Quickly licking the cone before the ice-cream could hit my dress I could see someone standing across the road looking at me or the scenery, i only hoped - hoped for what? maybe this could be explained a bit more
i can ask whats the name of the book?
I like the subtlety of the Romeo and Juliet element - although the physical narative comes to an end, the reader is aware of its virtual development. However, if the R&J interest wasn't made so explicit - as it was in an earlier post, would this still occur. . .?
ReplyDeleteI've still got quite a bit to write but the Romeo and Juliet story is gonna weave its way through my fan fiction eventually and the ideas from that play will become more obvious.
ReplyDeleteAnd Dyls i should have been more specific with "...i only hoped", im meaning to say "...i only hoped he was looking at the scenery" because of how self-conscious and skittish she can be.
Thaaaank guys please keep it coming (even though im crying, kidding!)
Ooo and the book is called The Bronze Horseman! A must read! You cant put that book down once you start, ahem WARNING: a little explicit! Lol
ReplyDeletelol explicit is always a good word. and it almost always captivates the reader
ReplyDeleteIt seems that you have really got some talent in writing a fan fiction. Usually, war movies/stories are full of pain and sacrifice. Probably, your fan fiction can have some pain and sacrifice. Your writing is talking itself. After reading the first draft I am enthusiastic to know what is going to happen next. Your starting is encouraging.
ReplyDelete